Title: Slit My Wrists and Black My Eyes
Author: Hard4Frerard
Rating: R
Pairing: Frank and Gerard
Summary: Gerard is coping with the suicide of Frank in his own way
Authors Notes: involves death. Don't like, don't read. simple as

It's been a year today that you killed yourself, we'll be together soon baby, don't worry.
You never did know just how much you meant to me, did you? if you did then why did you leave me to rot in this place all alone and heart-broken. 
I told you i loved you thousands of times and i meant it every fucking time as well. You always found it so hard to say you loved me and i think you only said it twice in four years of our relationship.
Now i have to act like evrything is ok and walk around with this fake fucking smile plastered on my face, when really i am dead inside and i have been since the night you left me and tihs world forever.
I remember that night like it was yesterday, the bathroom covered in your crimson red blood and your brain splattered on the wall. Your eyes were shut and you had a small smile on your face, like you were happy to finally get away from the pain

*flash back*
Gerard opened the door to their little apartment in New jersey, calling for frankie. There was no answer, he went to look in the bedroom to see if he was there. 'Frankie where are you' still no answer. He checked the bathroom and screamed till one of the neighbours cam knocking on the door. Frank was lying on the floor in a puddle of his own blood, half of his brain blown off and a piece of scrunched up paper in one hand and a gun in the other. Gerard was cradling his head 'please wake up frank, please baby. Baby wake up, why won't you fucking wake up'.
*End of flash back*

Think of all the people who miss you, your mom and dad are a fucking wreck since you left aby and they blame themselves for your suicide. I keep telling them that it was my fault that you are'nt here anymore. they just look at me with a sad look on their faces and tell me how much you loved me.
On the piece of scrunched up paper in your hand, there were only six words on there 'I Love You And Always Will' It's pretty hard to love someone when you're dead you know and if you loved me then why did you leave me all alone. I wish i had done something to help you, when you came to me for help i just told you to get lost and grow up. The only person to blame for your suicide is me and that's why tonight I'm joining you and we can be together again, just me and you, Frankie baby.

I come home after my long day at work, I've been waiting for this moment for a year exactly today. I wrote my last words on this sheet of paper, It read 'Finally Together And Happy For Eternity'. I lay all the pills in a line on the glass cabinet and get a glass of water, i grab the razor and press down on my left wrist and drag down, watching the skin turn red and droplets of blood appear at the skin and run down to my hands and on to my pants. My whole wrist is civered in blood now and the lacerations from just days ago are opening up and won't stop bleeding.
I'm starting to feel drowsy, i putthe razor over my right wrist and try with all the strength left in me. My hand slips and i press down on my vein and the light is quickly fading. I hear the door open and hear mikey scream and i can't see or hear anything else anymore.

I can see your face now and i kiss you with so much more passion than i ever did when i was alive. We're finally together, just Gee and Frankie for ever.